What To Get Your Partner For Valentine's Day, Based On Their Love Language

There’s a perfect gift for everyone – you just have to speak the right language.

If you’ve delved even a little bit into the world of relationship self-help books, you’ve probably heard of the concept of “love languages.” Baptist minister Gary Chapman wrote his wildly popular bestseller, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts in 1992. Since then, he’s also written books applying the theory of love languages to workplace behavior, parenting, single life, apologizing, and more.

According to Chapman, there are five different love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. While everyone uses, and can appreciate, all of them to some extent, Chapman says each of us speaks one language most fluently. (You can take a quiz to find out which you speak, right here.) That’s the way we feel love the most, and since it’s how we like to be loved, it’s also the way we naturally show our love to others.

Understanding your partner’s love language is the key to making them feel loved and understood, says Chapman. If, for example, your language is physical touch, while your partner’s is acts of service, you may think you’re being very loving by giving him lots of shoulder rubs and kisses, while he thinks he’s the best partner ever because he washes the dishes and takes your laundry to the dry cleaners without being asked. Meanwhile, you feel rejected because he shrugs off your physical advances, and he feels unloved because you rarely offer to run errands for him. It’s literally like you’re speaking different languages.

But with Valentine’s Day fast approaching, the question is: can knowing your partner’s love language help you pick the perfect gift? Look at the descriptions of the love languages below, and if you’re not sure which one is your partner’s, as them to take the quiz. Or just pay very close attention for a few days. Chances are, you can figure it out. Happy shopping!

1. Words of Affirmation

If your partner loves nothing more than to hear you tell them why you love them and how wonderful they are, then they’re probably suckers for a good love letter. Do one better and surprise them with the What I Love About You book. It’s a little fill-in-the-blank book filled with checklists, questions and answers, and prompts to help you both remember special times and imagine your future together. This sweet gift is the perfect combination of storebought and DIY, and your partner will treasure it for years to come. Buy it here.

2. Acts of Service

The person who expresses love through doing also feels the most love when their partner does things for them. So, what chores normally fall on your partner to do, but you know they dread them? If it’s housework, consider hiring a cleaning service to come and whip the place into spic-and-span shape. Cooking? Order a month of meals from Blue Apron, Hello Fresh, or another meal-making delivery service. Need some ideas? The Vouchers for Lovers coupon book will give your partner lots of options – and all you have to do is be willing to do what the vouchers promise. Order it here.

3. Receiving Gifts

If your SO loves being showered with gifts better than anything else, you’re in luck. Valentine’s Day will be a snap. Think outside the box – flowers and chocolate are always nice, but so predictable – and find something that will truly surprise and delight them when they unwrap that box. Even better, sign him up for a subscription service, so he’ll get a present in the mail every month. Birch Box delivers an assortment of grooming products, from anti-aging moisturizers to beardcare supplies – and you can personalize it for your man (or lady). Sign up here.

4. Quality Time

For some people, nothing is better than time spent together. All the gifts and sweet words in the world can’t make up for a lack of face time, and busy schedules that keep them apart from their partner take a big toll on their happiness with their relationship. If this sounds like your partner, this Date Night Bucket List kit for couples is a perfect. It’s chock full of ideas for fun and creative dates, so you don’t end up saying “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” – at least for a while. Buy it here.

5. Physical Touch

If touch is your partner’s love language, then for them, nothing compares to the power of physical contact when it comes to feeling and expressing love. They reach out to hold your hand on the street, put their hand on your knee under the table at dinner, rub your back when you’re stressed, and shower you with give hugs and kisses at every opportunity. Sexual intimacy is very important to them; being trapped in a sex-starved relationship would be their worst nightmare. Obviously, Valentine’s Day calls for an amazing new sex toy. Try Lovehoney’s Remote Control Vibrating Love Egg, so your partner can turn you on during your dinner out, then take you home and ravage you later.

This post was originally published in 2018 and is being republished here due to popularity.

Comment: Do you and your partner have different love languages? What would your perfect Valentine’s gift be?