A divorce between parents can cause significant changes in the structure of family and the routine of everyday activity. The issue that can be of the greatest concern is how to provide a certain sense of continuity and stability to the children. When children start dividing their time between two households, they can be dramatically impacted by whether the two households share any rules or not. It is best to establish and enforce the same rules in both houses to enable children to feel secure, balanced, and supported during changes.
Children live in order and having a set of expectations that they can count on over time will go a long way toward alleviating the stress that children feel when they are faced with the effects of the divorce. Having a consistent rule between the two households is a sense of being consistent whether they are concerned with bedtime, completion of homework, amount of time on a screen, or behavior. It makes children aware of what is expected of them regardless of location, and it also lowers the emotional strain that could occur as a result of continuously coping with two very different surroundings. This type of consistency also lessens the chances of children being in a bind or of them using the rules set on one side against the other.
Why Consistency Matters In A Shared Custody Arrangement
In an alternate custody schedule, children who live in alternate custody may alternate with homes on a weekly basis, bi-weekly basis or beyond. Children may feel their roles are misplaced, be unsure of what is expected of them or have to undergo what feels like re-learning household requirements when they have to move between homes without a consistent style of parenting. When there are differences in rules that are substantial, a child may get confused and uncertain as to what kind of behavior is acceptable and even start challenging rules. This uncertainty can lead to problems with their confidence, academically and emotional well-being.
The regular rules not only aid the kids but also facilitate better communication between the parents. When the households kept consistent routines and standards, it became simpler to monitor the academic progress, address discipline, and make choices in respect of extracurricular activities. Parents will tend to work as a team and will not always argue over anything. A family lawyer can intervene in drafting the parenting plans, which contain jointly accepted set of rules, in case of high-conflict separations. Legal assistance can be used to make sure that this consistency is written into the formal arrangement making the situation much more stable early on to the children enrolled.
The Effect Of Mixed Rules On A Child’s Behavior
Receiving varying messages at two different households has the potential of influencing the way children act and treat both parents. As an example, when a home with no restrictions on the hours the kids spend in front of the screen sends the children home to the house of strict restrictions, the kids might feel angry or frustrated or they might lash out. When this inconsistency happens, children may also develop conflicts about power, emotional breakdowns, and behavioral difficulties, particularly in younger children who are still trying to cope with their feelings.
It is also the norm that children compare both parents' dwellings and express preferences, not because they are emotionally attached but because of a laxer set of rules or routine. This can create unnecessary strain in the co-parenting relationship. Children tend not to play one parent off against the other or to manipulate other situations to suit themselves better when both parents are insistent upon the same general rules. It enforces the concepts that both parents are members of the same team when it comes to directing them, even in case they are not living in the same house anymore.
Ways To Build Shared Rules In Two Homes
The establishment of a mutually agreed upon set of post-divorce rules will involve communication, compromise, and joint concern over the welfare of children. In cases where ailicons skquot brought up a tense relationship between parents, it is also possible to bridge the gap in finding a shared set of parenting values. Negotiations on screen time before bed, screen time, mealtimes, chores, discipline, schoolwork should be given priority. The talks that occur in such cases should be child centred and not on what happened between the parents.
An agreement in writing can be an important instrument to include rules and patterns agreed upon by both parents and can be drawn up with the help of a family attorney or mediator. This agreement can be used as a guide when it comes to disagreements or questions that people may have. Flexibility remains a good thing, however, on the basis of the common expectations both parents can contribute to the child 's educational process in a better concerted way. This regularity in the long run makes the kids feel and behave more confident, better and safe no matter which house they are at.
Helping Children Feel Supported During The Transition
The children might need time to get used to the fact that now they know they will have constant rules in their homes, particularly, when they lived in households that were quite dissimilar to each other. Proper communication aboveboard encouragement, and tolerance will get them used to it. The parents are also encouraged to take time to explain to the little ones the importance of consistency by making them see it as something that will make them feel more secure and treated with care. Empowerment of children by their involvement in the creation of age-appropriate rules and an increase in their cooperation can also be realized.
When the parents manage to keep steady rules in both of their houses, they can give the children something precious in the times of uncertainty, the feeling of order and stability. Such a straightforward yet effective method can help decrease the possibility of confusion, improve relations, and make the way out of divorce process much easier. The joint effort goes a long way in comforting the children that despite the alteration of the family structure, the children are still well kept and recommended by both the parents.
