She lost her husband in a tragic accident and then built a community of support that has reached millions

"They meant well but couldn't understand what I was going through."Neff Hernandez realized she needed real-world tales of how different widows handled this new actuality, so she began looking for out and studying from them."Every time I sat down with one of these people, I felt understood," she mentioned. "I thought if I could bring these widows together, what a difference that would make.""I just wanted a space where I could laugh and be free and not be judged," Neff Hernandez mentioned. "And if I could make it easier for widowed people to find each other, they find a friend who's going to walk through their widowed experience with them."Camp Widow was the primary program she created in 2008. The annual three-day occasions collect widows and widowers from all over the world to attend workshops, meet each other and discover connections. From Camp Widow, the non-profit has grown to additionally embrace 70 regional chapters all around the US, in addition to pen buddies and packages particularly for the LGBTQ community.

To date, the group has reached greater than 4 million folks worldwide."It's about helping widowed people live life in community with each other, so that someone who has borne witness to their pain also bears witness to their life as they continue making their way forward," Neff Hernandez mentioned. Most not too long ago, the group added a digital program for many who've lost a companion to Covid-19. The 24-week program creates a area for contributors to be open about their distinctive struggles, reminiscent of not having the ability to say goodbye, not having a funeral and being remoted whereas grieving."It was such a powerful moment the first time they came together and understood that everybody could safely express whatever their Covid experience was," she mentioned. For Hernandez, whereas this work will be difficult and fire up her personal grief, it is also very rewarding."That gap that existed after he died, that exists to this day, is what fueled the desire to create an organization that's serving around the world," she mentioned. "It's been an incredible experience to build an organization that is in large part because he loved me so well."CNN's Meg Dunn spoke with Hernandez about her work. Below is an edited model of their dialog.CNN: How did the thought of Soaring Spirits come to be? Michele Neff Hernandez: I used to be grieving this one that was a pivotal half of my life. And I did not know do that. I felt like I needed to discover different individuals who knew what I did not know. We do not take into consideration widowhood as one thing to look a function mannequin for. We do not suppose, "I'm living this difficult experience; I should look for someone else who's done it and kind of seek inspiration there." And after about a 12 months of connecting with widowed folks, all I needed to do was put them in the identical room. I realized a lot from them. And I felt for the primary time, hopeful. Hopeful in a approach that was tangible. Hopeful in a approach that made surviving appear not solely attainable, however that even thriving is perhaps attainable. I believed if I may make it simpler for widowed folks to search out one another, what a distinction would that make. I'm the individual to assist them discover their individual. CNN: What's the inspiration behind Camp Widow?Hernandez: I additionally needed to provide folks a possibility to have a good time life, as a result of while you're widowed, should you're grieving in any respect, oftentimes feeling completely happy in any approach appears like a shame. And Camp Widow is a weekend occasion that creates a residence for anyone who's had this expertise. We can have a good time one another. We can have a good time us. We can have a good time our family members. And so the aim of it's to assist widowed folks rebuild their lives.CNN: Are there necessities for who can or can't take part in Soaring Spirits?Hernandez: Soaring Spirits makes use of a broad definition of the phrase "widow." We embrace all genders, all sorts of relationships. The solely requirement is that your individual -- the one you thought you have been going to spend your life with -- has died. I bear in mind the primary time I spoke to a widower on the telephone. I noticed he had been on the lookout for a group that would let him in. And I couldn't think about having somebody whose coronary heart had been damaged the way in which mine had standing exterior of a room the place different folks have been getting assist and figuring out that they could not go in. From that day ahead, inclusivity has been one of the important thing values of Soaring Spirits, as a result of no person who's had their coronary heart damaged in that approach must be left standing exterior a door trying in the window wishing they may come in. CNN: What is your hope for the widowed folks you are serving to? Hernandez: My hope for each single widowed one that interacts with Soaring Spirits is that they stroll away figuring out that there's a community there prepared to stroll with them by all the times forward. It's about being in community so that we will mannequin for one another the chance obtainable to us, whereas additionally recognizing how laborious it's. It's not all about, "Put that aside. You can't have any hard feelings." It's not about, you recognize, "Grief is going to be something that changes you into a better person." It's about, "We accept you right where you are. We also believe in a future for you. And if you can't believe in a future for yourself, that's OK. I'll believe in it for you until you can believe in it for yourself. And I'm going to keep believing it for you no matter how long it takes you to get there."