16 Males Clarify Why They See Intercourse Staff

“I don’t condone treating s*x workers as objects, but I do treat their services as a commodity.”

When picturing the kinds of men who frequent s*x workers and pay for their services, certain images come to mind.

There is the older, businessman in a suit, away on business, calling an escort to his hotel room while his wife is at home with the kids.

Or an unattractive, nervous young man, going to a prostitute to lose his virginity.

Or a lonely, sad man who can’t find a woman to sleep with him without handing over large amounts of cash.

But in truth, there are a number of different kinds of men who see s*x workers, and for all kinds of reasons.

To simply paint all men who pay for s*x with the same brush is not only ignoring the reality of the s*x industry and the people who utilize it, but also works to keep the shame and taboo associated with s*x workers in place.

Read these men explaining the many different reasons they choose to see s*x workers…

1. “Because I know what I am getting”

“I don’t like going out, and the only reason I ever do it is to get laid. You spend money on a cab, fashionable clothes, cover charges, and drinks – the money quickly adds up. And, after all of that, you still might strike out for the night. I just prefer to spend a bit more money, save myself the time, and know exactly what I’m going to get. I also like that I don’t have to do any extra work to make sure the woman has an org*sm. It is her job to make sure I have a good time, not the other way around.” – Steve, 24. 

2. “I travel a lot”

“There is one main reason I use escorts and prostitutes.

I travel a lot, and I rarely have the time to sit and meet women through most conventional means, or even get myself into a “one night stand” type of scenario. Prostitution solves that problem for me by providing me with company that can come to me, and allow me to get off, and then they leave.

I don’t get with prostitutes to date them – it’s a convenience thing. If I wanted companionship or a relationship, I would settle down for a while, and actually date someone. I don’t see prostitution as a long-term replacement for genuine human companionship.” – Mark, 36. 

3. “I want them to role-play as a real girlfriend”

“I want the prostitute I hire to not behave like one. I want them to roleplay to be like a girlfriend for the time we’re together. To a third person, it will look like we’re in love, but it’s just a casual hook up. I want to chat about lots of things, like what I like in life, what my friends are up to, and my hobbies. She needs to enjoy her business and act as if she loves me and what I’m doing for her. I want her to be genuinely attracted to me. I want to feel as if we’re together not only because I am paying her.” – Blake, 28.

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4. “My wife has passed away but I still have urges”

“My wife is deceased but I still have some sexual urges, so about once a month I go to a local brothel and see the same working girl. She’s a very sweet young lady. I stay for about 20 minutes and spend around $60.

When my wife was alive, she was it for me. I didn’t look elsewhere. I didn’t want anyone else.

The s*x I have here is fairly ordinary. Nothing kinky – none of the things you read about. I don’t know if the young lady physically enjoys what she does with me, but if she enjoys some part of it or a portion of it, then it is more fulfilling for me.

I also like to talk with her a little. Not too much; I’m aware that my life is likely very boring to her, but I’m interested in her and I like to hear how things are for her.” – Paddy, 70. 

5. “I have Cerebral Palsy”

“I’m 42 years-old and I have Cerebral Palsy. I’ve had some girlfriends, but the relationships haven’t lasted that long. I’ve been seeing s*x workers in brothels and at my house since I was 17 years-old. I’ve had some good and bad experiences with s*x workers. Some have been very respectful while a few have been a bit mean to me.

Apart from that, it’s been good. Looking at n*ked women is beautiful and having s*x is natural. It’s just that some of us with disabilities or medical conditions or both may have to pay for s*x.

I go to a disability and wheelchair friendly brothel and some of the ladies offer extra services like kissing or oral, or they let you ejaculate on their breasts. I see on their website they also have a male s*x worker for women or men.

There is nothing wrong with having s*x with a s*x worker.” – Samual, 42. 

6. “Men need s*x more”

“In the past six months, I’ve been separated from my partner and I’ve only had s*x three times. Women would think, “So what?” But men need it more. I think it’s just part of nature. If you don’t have s*x for a while you sort of blow up. So now I’m going to see prostitutes to fulfill those urges.” – Hugh, 30. 

7. “I was depressed and lonely”

“I’d been in a really dark place, extremely depressed and lonely. I just wanted some human contact for a bit, and so I called an escort. I thought I would regret it afterward but I don’t. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. She was fun to spend time with and it really helped me out. There wasn’t anything shameful about it.” – Brad, 23. 

8. “There is freedom with a s*x worker you don’t have with a partner”

“I occasionally frequent s*x workers, even as a happily married man.

There is a certain freedom that comes with a s*x worker that does not come with a partner. I absolutely do not condone treating s*x workers as objects, but I do treat the services they provide as a commodity. I think about it like renting a car as opposed to buying one. With a rented car, you can run the engine a bit more ragged. It allows you to indulge in a way you wouldn’t be able to normally, and when you’re done, you can walk away with no worries about attachment.

Do I feel guilt? Sometimes. There was one time I felt really guilty, and that was because I started feeling an attachment to the woman I was with. Once that started, I had to stop seeing her.

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I get tested every six months as a result. I honestly think, if she found out, my wife would be more annoyed that I was spending money over having s*x with somebody else. I don’t do it often, but it’s not something I think I’d be able to go without.  It’s just a fantastical indulgence now or then, and it doesn’t hurt anyone.” – Craig, 51. 

9. “So I can do things I’d never ask my wife to do”

“When I go see s*x workers, I know exactly why I am there. I want them to do the things I would never ask my wife and the mother of my children to do. I respect my wife too much to ask her to do anal, or let me dominate her, for example. So I pay someone to let me do these things.” – Connor, 37. 

10. “I’m retired and alone”

“I live in a remote rural area, and spent the last decade being a full-time carer for my mother. I didn’t have the chance to meet people in the normal way, so I decided to start paying for s*x. It really wasn’t even a desire so much for the s*x as it was just me wanting female company. So I sought out a s*x worker on a message board and asked her if she would like to spend the night in a hotel with me. It was like a first date. We got to know each other, and were sounding each other out.

Now we know each other so well that I just transfer the money to her online account before she comes to meet me.” – Greg, 66. 

11. “I want to hang on to my marriage”

“I’ve been married for twenty years. But I am a highly sexual man, married to a woman who really doesn’t enjoy s*x, or even hugging, kissing and so on.

She’s an excellent partner and in every other way we got on like a house on fire, but just not in bed. So I put as much money aside as I can, so I can buy s*x.

I want to hang on to my marriage, and so right as much as I can by my wife, so the obvious thing is to pay for s*x.” – Lawrence, 45. 

12. “I was 29 and a virgin”

“I’ve always been shy and have never found meeting women to be easy. I was 29, and a virgin, so I decided to pay for s*x to finally lose my virginity.

I am uncomfortable and upset I had to resort to s*x workers. I’ve read stuff on the internet that being a s*x worker isn’t good emotionally for women, which is part of why I feel so uncomfortable with seeing them. But I can’t stop. I’ve got a high s*x drive and it is not just that I enjoy s*x, but if I don’t have s*x after a while, I feel terrible physically.

I see the same woman each time, and I’ve been going to her for the last few years. I’m more relaxed with her than I would be with someone new. But I know that if I wasn’t paying her, she wouldn’t dream of having s*x with me.

I have actually had a couple of girlfriends in the last few years and while in those relationships, I stopped paying for s*x. I wouldn’t ever cheat. And I do hope to find love and settle down one day because I would prefer that the woman I’m having s*x with wants to do it, not for money, but wants to be with me.” – Ryan, 32. 

13. “I hadn’t had s*x for 10 years”

“I first visited a professional s*x worker when I was on holiday after 10 years of sexual abstinence; I had grown fairly weary of soft p*rn and masturbation. I ached for the touch of a woman.

Read also: 5 Lies About S*x That You May Have Been Believing

I went to a brothel, and the woman who served me was professional, business like and comforting, interesting, chatty, all at the same time. I was asked to take a shower, which I did, I was asked to wear a condom, which I did. Sexual intercourse took place and I really enjoyed it. There was no kissing, which I acknowledged as having a special place in intimate relationships.

I would not argue for a minute that the services of a s*x worker can replace a loving intimate partnership. It cannot. I married a few years later, in my early 40’s, for the first time.” – Peter, 58. 

14. “I am in the habit of seeing s*x workers”

“I am happily married, but I have been paying for s*x long before I met and married my wife.

In my marriage, s*x lacks a bit of excitement. Maybe I’m spoilt from seeing s*x workers previously. They are in the business of s*x so it is generally really good. My wife just isn’t as good in bed as some of the women I’ve paid before.

I lead a double life. My wife, family, and friends don’t know I pay for s*x regularly. I don’t think they would like to think that I was getting involved in visiting working girls for s*x because it’s not the thing that a respectable person does, to be honest.” – Rod, 52

15. “I’m seeking the ‘first-time’ thrill”

“I went to the red light district in Amsterdam while I was traveling, and ended up seeing a s*x worker there. The whole experience was amazing, from the thrill of doing something so adventurous to the s*x itself. I have since hired s*x workers a few times, to try to recreate the experience.

The second time just wasn’t the same, and the woman seemed sad and like she didn’t want to be there, unlike the first girl.

The third time put me off for life.

The woman was cold and harsh, and the room felt like a doctors surgery. We had s*x, but I looked down into her eyes and she couldn’t focus. And I realized at that time I was having s*x with a drug addict. I felt just ghastly. Everything had seemed a little exotic before, and now suddenly, it seemed dirty. I haven’t done it again since.” – Isaac, 21. 

16. “It makes me feel like a man”

“I’ve been going to brothels and parlors off and on for the past 20 years. I don’t go to a different girl every time. If I have one I like, I stay with her. The girl I’m seeing now is great, and I’m very attracted to her. She’s nothing like my wife. She’s younger and smaller, and she does different things without complaining. My wife won’t do oral s*x. She thinks it’s gross, which I understand. So I go to this girl for that.

Being with these girls does make you feel pretty good as a man and as a lover. It’s just a good feeling – a good physical sexual feeling. And paying for it doesn’t take any of that away. I suppose I do think of myself as a good lover and I think both of us are getting something out of it, not just me.

I think the girls I see enjoy being with me. I think I’d be able to tell if they didn’t. I know it’s only a job to them but I’d hope the one I was with would enjoy it. She says she does. If I knew that she didn’t like it, I wouldn’t come back.” – Carl, 44.

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