Vishal Bhardwaj pens emotional screenplay on bond with Irrfan Khan: ‘I want to cry aloud. I can’t. My throat is choked’

Vishal Bhardwaj, who directed Irrfan Khan in Maqbool, 7 Khoon Maaf and Haider, was devastated by the actor’s untimely demise on April 29. In an emotional Instagram post, the filmmaker said that ‘there were and there are and there will be a lot of tears to shed’.

Sharing a picture of the two of them, he wrote, “Thank You sir. Thank you. There were and there are and there will be a lot of tears to shed. Thankyou for helping me bring them out. Thank you.”

Vishal turned to writing as an outlet for the gamut of emotions that he was feeling. He penned a screenplay on his bond with Irrfan, which was shared with The Times of India.

When Vishal first heard of Irrfan’s death, it felt like the explosion of a bomb in his heart, he wrote. On his way to the crematorium, he reminisced about the moments they spent together.


Vishal shared an anecdote from February 2014, when Haider was being shot in Srinagar. The crowd gathered around them grew unruly, hoping for a selfie with Irrfan, and the actor was whisked away by the security forces.

“A boy runs out from a lane situated at the square leg direction of the car. He bends his shoulder back and throws a stone like a professional cricketer at the car to run him out. The wind screen shatters into pieces,” Vishal wrote, adding that the panicked security guard almost opened fire on him but was stopped by Irrfan ‘just in time’.

The actor was not the least bit upset by the incident and in fact laughed about it later, “Vishal sahab, kya throw maara saale ne.. Aisa graceful ki Jonty Rhodes yaad aa gaya (Vishal sahab, what a throw it was.. So graceful that I was reminded of Jonty Rhodes).”

Vishal recalled another memory from the sets of Haider, of Irrfan being ‘totally immersed’ in his character, and the crew members speaking in whispers as they prep for the shot so as to not disturb his concentration.

Vishal then wrote about his feelings when he saw Irrfan’s mortal remains at the crematorium. “I walk forward to face him. I am looking at his face endlessly. Time has stopped. I realize how heavy his eyelids are. A lullaby in Irrfan’s voice echoes in my head… ‘Aa ja ri nindo tu aa ja.. Ifu ki aankhon mein.. (Come dear sleep, come.. Settle into Ifu’s eyes..)’.”

Irrfan had sent Vishal the song on a WhatsApp message in August 2018, when he was undergoing treatment in London, and joked, “Vishal sahab ab aapko acting ke saath meri singing bhi jhelni padegi (Vishal sahab, now you will have to suffer my singing along with my acting).”

“Tears have drenched my N95 mask as I stand still, looking at his serene calm face. I want to cry aloud. I can’t. My throat is choked,” Vishal wrote.

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Vishal had announced a gangster drama with Irrfan and Deepika Padukone, that could never take off, because of the actor’s illness.

“Mazaak nahin kar raha hoon.. Jab tab aap 7 Khoon Maaf mein meri kahaani ka poora edit nahin daalte YouTube par.. Main shooting pe nahin aaunga (I’m not joking.. Until you put my full unedited story from 7 Khoon Maaf on YouTube.. I won’t come for the shoot),” Irrfan had told Vishal during the look test.

Vishal then shared an anecdote from 2018, when he and Tabu visited Irrfan at his home. “Irrfan starts to narrate his cancer treatment tales like a script. He makes it sound so hilarious that Tabu and I fall down laughing. He mimics doctors and their strange physical habits. At this point Sutapa joins us, she scolds Irrfan to not make fun of his specialist doctor.”

Then, Irrfan became philosophical and said that it felt like his health conditions were playing out like films of different genres – sometimes thriller and sometimes comedy. Vishal remembered the moment of Irrfan being buried in Haider as he saw him being cremated in real life. “I wish I could edit out this scene from my life,” he emotionally concluded his screenplay.

Follow @htshowbiz for more

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