Saying you are sorry involves costs and benefits. You are showing warmth when you apologize says Shereen Chaudhrey of Chicago Booth and George Lowenstein of Carnegie Mellon. However, you also are showing weakness or admitting incompetence.
The person who is blaming (or bragging) appears to be more competent, but is at risk of appearing less warm. Their theory may help explain why women tend to apologize more than men. Women want to appear warmer based on societal expectations.
“Apologizing may include a cost to one’s competence,” Chaudhrey further explains, “but apologizing makes you look warmer. So apologizing may have more benefit for women than men — but not apologizing may have more cost. The opposite is true for men.” (1)
Brené Brown, author of Dare to Lead, puts it like this: “While some leaders consider apologizing to be a sign of weakness, we teach it as a skill and frame the willingness to apologize and make amends as brave leadership.” (2)
How to make an apology more sincere
Frame your apology as a pledge not to make the same mistakes again. A genuine apology is one that tells him or her, “I behaved badly and I will not treat you that way again.” It will appear as a hollow apology and will hold no value otherwise. (2)
You no longer will be considered “safe” if you keep making the same mistakes. You cannot be trusted since you cannot be held accountable. (2)
Timing matters. Apologizing sometimes can fail miserably. The apology should help the other person feel secure — that the mistake will certainly not be repeated. (3) The offender could be too slow in offering an apology. The transgressor is likely to be forgiven more when the apology is offered relatively quickly, especially with considerable effort, reports one study. (4)
Don’t offer a “non-apology.” That’s when you apologize for offending the person rather than for your behavior. Do not make it a habit. Apologize only when necessary. (5)
“Your apologies will carry less weight later on, especially for situations that really warrant a sincere apology,” says John Hall on CNBC. (6)
Compensation as a way to say you’re sorry
Offer a form of compensation. Ask what you can do to make up for your mistake.
“Apology gifts are as old as sin,” writes Arianne Cohen at BBC.com. The gift is essentially not to enrich the recipient but to serve as a punishment to the offender.
The general rule of apologizing is to “acknowledge accountability and promise future excellence,” says Amy Ebesu Hubbard, University of Hawai’i at Mānoa.
Acknowledging accountability means you accept your mistake has caused harm and suffering. You should offer an immediate remedy and express sincerity soon after that point.(3) A Journal of Marketing study adds a new guideline: Start with “thank you” rather than saying “sorry.” (3) An example: “Thank you for your patience” is an alternative for, “Sorry, I made you wait.”
The gesture must be felt as genuine and not as an effort to “buy her off” with a gift. (5)
Best ways to say “I’m sorry”
The person you are trying to apologize to will likely forgive you if you say it in person. People want to hear your words to gauge your sincerity. (5) You may need to exert more effort to make amends in cases where she can’t forgive you at once.
Send her messages through texts or letters. Apologizing through a message has the advantage of giving you enough time to come up with the right words. Avert the temptation of justifying your behavior. Doing so may indicate you are not accepting responsibility and passing it to something else. Never say, “I’m sorry. I only did it because you were annoying me.”.
Cute I’m Sorry Quotes For Her From The Heart
Really mean it when you say you’re sorry. She will notice any lack of sincerity. Give it some thought and consider one of the following I’m sorry quotes:
- Sweetheart, I’m turning over a new leaf. I am so sorry for the failure of a boyfriend I’ve been in the past. Please forgive me!
- If I begin to tell you how terrible I feel for what I did to you, my apology will run into days, weeks and months. To cut a long story short, I am really sorry.
- I’m truly sorry for everything that I did wrong, for not giving you enough attention, for not texting back, for making you love me, when I didn’t even know if I loved you… I’m sorry for all of the pain I gave you… I’m sorry that I realized that I love you, when I lost you…
- As long as you may take, please know I’ll wait for you to forgive me! Please accept my apology and allow me to show you that I am not a man I was before!
- I am so sorry, my love. Your suffering brings me such anguish. I will do anything to make it up to you. Please shed a light of forgiveness on me.
- Two wrongs cannot make a right, I’m wrong already, can you just be right and let’s settle this my love. Kindly forgive and forget.
- I took you for granted and now I am paying the price for it. I love you. I am sorry.
- I wonder why I always have to be such a jerk. I’ll work on my manners. I am sorry.
- Take your time. Don’t worry. I’ll wait forever, if that is what it’ll take for you to forgive me. I love you.
- Beloved, take my bloody heart, it is yours, I have offended you, and this has brought me great pain. Please, find the strength to forgive me.
Heartfelt Apology Quotes For Her
Nothing guarantees forgiveness. Your attitude and sincerity will help. Consider using one of these quotes:
- Even though I’ve promised to make you happy, I’ve managed to do the exact opposite and broke your heart. You truly are the woman of my dreams, and I cannot afford to lose you like that. Please come back to me. I am sorry.
- Sorry for all my WHITE lies. I promise that from now on our relationship will be free of lies, irrespective of their color. I’m sorry, I love you!
- Sorry, for everything I said that made you cry, for all your nerves, for all your anger, for all the stress I gave you, you used to call me, I didn’t pick up, but one day, I felt something… I realized I lost you, no calls, no nerves, no stress or anger…
- It was never my intention to hurt you. Life played a joke on me and clouded my judgment. Let me make up for all those heartbroken nights. Please forgive me for hurting you!
- I know I try your patience and you’ve probably grown tired of it. I just hope you will forgive me and give me another chance to be a better partner to you. I’m so very sorry.
- If I could put my heart into writing, I’ll write how deeply sorry I am to have wrong a precious soul like yours. Please let go of your anger and forgive me.
- Not a minute goes by without me thinking about how I hurt you. I am sorry.
- I deserve the cold shoulder I’m getting from you. I’ve acted so badly. But can you stop now and forgive me? Please!
- You can’t stay mad at this face…can you? Forgive me, sweetie!
- We’ve matched like two puzzle pieces, let’s not spoil our idyll with misunderstanding and resentment. I’m sorry if I offended you.
Sorry Quotes Images
The List Of I Am Sorry Quotes For GF
They say the people we hurt the most are the people we love the most. Ask for her forgiveness with one of these quotes for your girlfriend:
- You truly are the best thing you have happened in my life. I know that you do not deserve an idiot like me, yet, I want to become selfish and ask you to forgive me and take me back. I love you.
- By lying to you I broke your heart. But in doing so I broke mine too. I made the biggest mistake of my life, by betraying a love so true. I am sorry.
- I’m sorry baby for all the wrongs I did, I know you still love me and I still love you, we can work things out I know it, I will try harder, and I know if we both want it, we can get through this! We just need to stay strong…
- Every man should be given another chance. Because men are prideful and stupid. I realize my mistake and I ask for your forgiveness.
- My heart is entirely broken knowing the pain I’ve caused you to be in. I also know that your heart has broken into tiny pieces because of me. I’m here to tell you how sorry I am. I promise to put back each and every piece.
- I love you more than there are stars in the sky and you bring so much happiness into my life I’m sorry because i let my anger get the best of me. Please baby come back to me. I’m deeply sorry.
- I cannot stand seeing you look so unhappy for even a second. I am really sorry.
- I keep replaying in my mind how bad I let you down. I can’t stop blaming myself. Can you please forgive me?
- Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is saying ‘I love you’ with a wounded heart in one hand and your smothered pride in the other. I am really sorry for making you feel that way.
- When you cry, the part of my soul dies, I never wanted to cause your tears, forgive me, my love, I understood my mistakes.
I’m Sorry For Hurting You Quotes To Apologize To A Girl
Apologizing can help you work things out and get your relationship back on track. Try one of these “I’m sorry for hurting you” quotes:
- Through all of my actions, I’ve only thought about you, and what was best for us. It’s harsh for me to see that something that started as an action for the best, ended up with the worst result possible. Please forgive me, I love you.
- If I had a time machine, you wouldn’t be reading this message right now because I would have gone back in time and undone the hurt I caused you. I regret my actions badly and I am very sorry. xoxo
- You are the person I love and appreciate more than anyone else in the whole universe. The thought of making you feel bad drives me crazy, and I want to apologize for hurting your feelings, baby. What I did was wrong. Please don’t be mad.
- Baby, I sincerely apologize. Please forgive my childish behavior.
- I am extremely sorry for my inappropriate behavior. I will make everything right again. Can we please talk?
- My love, I cannot put into words the heartache I feel when I see you upset. I never want to hurt you, but sometimes my foolish pride gets the best of me. I’m sorry my love.
- I am sorry for disappointing you. How can I redeem myself in your eyes? You are the person I love and what you think of me means the world to me.
- I broke your heart, please give me the chance to mend it again. I don’t want to be without you. You are all I want. I am sorry.
- Any good apology has 3 parts: 1) I’m sorry. 2) It’s my fault. 3) What can I do to make it right? Maybe we could get to the third part?
- How do I say the words, ‘I’m sorry’ when I know that words are not enough? And how can I ask you to forgive me when I know I can’t forgive myself?
Please Forgive Me Quotes For Girlfriend
Breakups are not always forever. One of these “please forgive me” quotes might spur a return to those good feelings between you:
- It’s been a long day without you, I cannot stand this feeling of loneliness, and it pains me to see you get hurt, especially when I am the one to blame. You truly are the woman of my life. I am terribly sorry.
- Ever since the day I broke your heart, I may have lost your trust but I gained something much more powerful – the urge to make you fall in love with me all over again. I am sorry.
- My wonderful girl, I’m really sorry that I hurt you. I didn’t want it. Please, forgive me. Miss you!
- As a girlfriend, it is your right to be angry with me for my mistakes. But as a boyfriend, it is my job to make amends and never stop trying till I earn my forgiveness.
- Every moment that you’re angry with me is a moment I find unbearable. I’m here to beg you to put an end to our fight. I’m ready to raise the white flag and say I’m sorry. I want to go back to loving you the way you deserve.
- I am incredibly embarrassed and ashamed for all the bad that I’ve said and done, all the arguing and yelling, more importantly the embarrassment and unequivocal hurt and sadness I have caused you. Please I’m deeply sorry and I hope you forgive.
- After you left, my whole world crumbled into pieces. Please forgive me and come back to me. I miss you so much. Nothing is the same without you.
- I’d never take you for granted again. I’ve learnt my lesson. Being apart from you is something I don’t want to experience again. Please forgive me.
- I am aware of the fact that I broke your heart when I betrayed your trust. Please, forgive me and give me a chance to repair my mistakes.
- You haven’t talked to me for a week, and it is the greatest pain I have ever experienced, I’m sorry for everything.
The Best Quotes To Apologize To Your Girlfriend
The best way to get her trust back is realizing what you did wrong, learning the lesson and not repeating what caused the problem in the first place. Say you are sorry to your girlfriend like this:
- There are 2 limitless things in my life right now. My love for you and the sense of guilt and regret I am feeling after what I’ve done. Please forgive me, I love you.
- I made a mistake because I am only human. But I expect you to forgive me because I know that you are Supergirl. I am sorry.
- I love you so much, my dear. I’m truly sorry for my mistakes. Hope to see you soon.
- Difficult time has passed painfully, but your memories still make me want to cry. I just want another chance to make it up to you. Please forgive me.
- Give me one more shot to show you how special you are. I know I’ve been slacking and I’m sorry. You are perfect in every way and I want to show you that. I will do my best to put more effort in. I will do whatever it takes.
- I know I’m very self-centered, rude, disrespectful and dumb but no matter how many times we argue or fight, you’ll still always have me, I promise. I am trying my hardest to be the person you deserve but with you not on the same track with me, it makes things difficult. And I know you are more hurt than angry. Trust me, it was never my intention. I am sorry.
- I am sorry for making you feel like you are not enough. You are more than enough for me.
- Please pick my calls. Please talk to me. I’d bear anything but your silence. It’s tearing me apart. I am sorry baby. I am so sorry.
- I am sure you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me. Please accept my apology!
- Honey, I have betrayed your trust, I have no right to ask you about something, but I want to say that my love for you will live forever. I beg you, forgive me.
Quotes To Offer Your Sincere Apologies To Girlfriend
Saying you are sorry doesn’t mean you are a pushover. It means you are wise enough to understand what you did was wrong and you are ready to do whatever it takes to make things right. Apologize with one of these lines:
- This is not a cheap act I do to seek your forgiveness. I have truly repented for all the things I’ve done, and I want to say I am truly sorry and I love you more than you can ever imagine. If you choose to forgive me, then I promise I will be different, and make your life, no, our lives, better. I love you.
- I betrayed your trust and created my life’s biggest disaster. But now I realize that having you in my life is all that matters. I am sorry.
- Do you know how strong my love for you is? I was a fool that I hurt you. Hope that you love me as always.
- I cannot stand even a single second seeing this painful look on your face. Baby, I am really sorry.
- I am so sorry for making you feel unappreciated. Any man would be lucky to have you. I’m sorry I’ve failed you.
- I feel like an homeless soul each time you’re mad at me, I wander carelessly and feel lost without you in my world, beside you is the only comfortable place on earth. Please forgive me and let me come back home to you my love. I’m deeply sorry.
- I am full of so much remorse for hurting you and losing you. And I will do whatever it takes to win you back.
- Yell at me, scream, scratch but please don’t ignore me. I could never bear that and please forgive me. You are all I’ve got.
- This is me asking for your forgiveness because I know I’ve done you harm and because for me, our relationship is way more important than my ego.
- My little girl, your watery eyes were the worst thing I’ve ever seen, I felt myself a monster, I am so sorry, baby, I’ll never do the same again.
Short Romantic Sorry Messages For Her
Want to keep it short? Make sure your apology is sincere and romantic just like the messages below:
- I cannot stand your absence anymore. I am begging for forgiveness. Please return to me, I am sorry.
- Sorry for being aloof and making you feel that I don’t care for you. I love you!
- Please, give me one more chance, my dear. You are the best thing in my life. You are my sunshine. Forgive me!
- I will wait for your forgiveness till death if you don’t forgive me now.
- Please grant me a chance to repent for what I’ve done. Allow me to earn your trust again.
- I know you really mad at me now, but can you just let go of this anger, it’s really hurting me to see you mad. I’m sorry baby.
- I know saying I am sorry does not fix everything, but can it be the first step in repairing our relationship?
- I’ll be at your door every morning. I’ll be here every second doing whatever it takes for you to forgive me.
- I am so sorry that I’ve messed everything up!
- Look at the sun, do you see how it shines? It sends you my apology. Do not take offense, honey.
Sorry Quotes For Her To Ask For Forgiveness
Quarrels can leave scars. Let the dust settle a bit and then do your best to make it up to her. These quotes might help in the meantime:
- I cannot believe that I managed to break the heart of such a beautiful creature like you. I am a giant fool for not being more careful of my words and actions. I am terribly sorry, I regret everything I’ve done. Please forgive me, I love you.
- The homepage of our relationship cannot be currently displayed because of a server error. Can we please click on the refresh button and start over again? I am sorry baby.
- I’m very sorry, honey. I miss you so much. Please, forgive me. I will wait for your call. I need to hear your voice.
- I am still living in the beautiful memories of our time together and I enjoyed those moments. I realize now that I have lost a treasure and I want to apologize for my mistakes. Please forgive me.
- I understand your frustration with me. But, just know I’m not going anywhere. I will wait until you forgive me.
- I can’t stand it any more, that feeling of being without you, I can’t just take it. Just forgive me and let’s make things right my love. I am sorry dearest.
- I feel like the worst person in the world for making you so upset. Please forgive me.
- Don’t be so angry with me. I can’t bear to see you so hurt. It tears my heart apart. Please forgive me.
- If I just could turn back time, I would never cause you the pain I did. You might not believe me but the truth is that I am really sorry for all of my words and actions.
- If I could, I would have wiped your memories about all the terrible things that I have caused you, but all I can do is to promise you that I’ll create only happy memories for you.
- When saying ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘thank you’ makes a big difference. (2019). Chicago Booth Review. https://review.chicagobooth.edu/behavioral-science/2019/article/when-saying-i-m-sorry-and-thank-you-makes-big-difference
- Willkomm, A. C. (2019, February 13). The Importance of Saying “I’m Sorry.” Goodwin College of Professional Studies. https://drexel.edu/goodwin/professional-studies-blog/overview/2019/February/The-importance-of-saying-i-am-sorry/
- Cohen, A. (2020). Why we’ve been saying “sorry” all wrong. Bbc.Com. https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20200512-why-weve-been-saying-sorry-all-wrong
- The Science Behind “I’m Sorry”: Why to Say It, and How – Quiet Revolution. (2019, April 19). Quiet Revolution. https://www.quietrev.com/the-science-behind-im-sorry-why-to-say-it-and-how/
- The Science Behind “I’m Sorry”: Why to Say It, and How – Quiet Revolution. (2019, April 19). Quiet Revolution. https://www.quietrev.com/the-science-behind-im-sorry-why-to-say-it-and-how/
- Hall, J. (2019, April 16). Stop saying “I’m sorry.” Research says it makes others think less of you—here’s what successful people do instead. CNBC; CNBC. https://www.cnbc.com/2019/04/16/saying-im-sorry-can-make-people-think-poorly-of-you-research-heres-what-successful-people-do-instead.html