Gaining clarity on the way we perceive our life is an effective move towards being mentally and emotionally healthy. How we tell ourselves and our relationships and the world in which we all live informs our decisions, feelings and even our friendships and even relationships with others. Such narratives can get so entrenched in our mind that it is considered part of the facts and not an interpretation. Narrative therapy provides a supportive framework in reminding us of the dominant and alternative stories we have carried and thus our stories may be re-shaped in a manner that will assist in growth into our new selves and the healing process.
Each individual usually has several narratives about self identity and the way the world functions. Not all of these stories are dominant; some have to be told more than once and create an impression concerning some event or ourselves. Others include other narratives, other stories that are present as background that may not be recognized or developed. Now that we are aware of these various stories, we have a wider range of options to choose which of them we want to attribute attention and power to in our lives. Such awareness is central to change, be it in personal issues or dealing with relationship therapy.
Understanding Dominant Narratives
Dominant stories are the narratives that we tend to tell ourselves the most. They are often created as a result of repeated messages about social norms, family influence, cultural norms or experiences that a person has. Such narratives are internalized and they form the prism through which we look at events. To provide an example, the person might have a powerful story of how they are unworthy or how their voice is not important. This tale can influence their career choice to enter relationships.
Since the prevailing narratives are known and, in many cases, are supported by historical events or external experts, they may seem to be true and undeniable. But narrative therapy helps to put in doubt these alleged truths. Not all stories that are dominant are complete and true. A therapist may help people to become aware of the effects these stories have and start discussing the way they were shaped. This journey will grant an individual the possibility to start viewing their narrative as flexible and curious.
Exploring Alternative Narratives
Although it is easy to detect dominant narratives, alternative ones can be difficult to discern. They are the other less echoed stories, the ones with other possibilities to who we might be. As an example, a person may think that they are not good enough, but still remember some moments of life when they have been successful, connected, or resilient. Such moments provide the hints to the alternative stories which might have been skipped or rejected before.
Alternative narratives are not invented but uncovered. They can easily be silenced by the louder shouts of self-defamation or doubt. Through the support of a therapist, people can also start to make room allowing these other narratives to enter in and observing how these might be more balanced or empowering in terms of how they see themselves. In other instances, these other versions of events are the basis on which constructing new patterns established in relationship therapy can be built, especially during the time when the patterns of brokenness or stagnation are resisted.
Developing Awareness Of Your Personal Story
In order to find the narratives of self you can point out your life by noting recurring thoughts and themes. This may show in how you narrate your history, how you react to the conflict or how you characterize a person to others. Once you become aware of such patterns, question where they originated and whether they benefit you anymore. This form of reflective practice is the backbone of narrative therapy and one does not need to undergo training to start practicing it.
Writing about or talking to a close friend or a therapist can be effective to expose these stories. When you name them, you actually start to disconnect their grip and open up substitutes. In the long run, this activity makes one more free and realizes more details about their self-resilience and complexity. Improving this exploration can also be helped by relationship therapy when patterns are maintained by mutual pasts or inaccurate repetitive comprehensions among individuals.
Making Intentional Changes In Your Story
When you find out both the dominant and the alternative narratives, you can start to make a conscious choice, which narratives you would like to prioritize in your life. This is not about denying the truth, it is about considering what is bad as equal to what is good and what is hoped and what is possible. To give an example, when you have managed to identify a pattern of fear, you have still not eliminated that fear but you have been able to identify when courage has presented itself, even in small measures.
Changing your narrative is not a one-time decision. It is a process that one has to pay attention and care about. A therapist is persuasive in facilitating this transformation particularly when the stories are associated with deep suffering or long expended practices. The more you want to write your story differently, the more you will reflect and practice until you can write it in a more authentic way, making you feel more powerful and in line with how you are becoming.
Moving Forward With A New Perspective
The realization of the distinction between dominant and alternative narratives will help you spread a more understanding and comprehensive perception of yourself. You are liberated and no longer emotionally bound in all the old ways and beliefs as you are free to select how you perceive yourself and life. This transition has the capacity to cause valuable transformation into various aspects of life, such as self-esteem and relations.
With the help of narrative therapy and, in particular, a skilled therapist or relationship therapy, it is possible to open the door to a more conscious and hopeful approach to living. As you can see, through the experience of understanding and rewriting your own narratives, you can create a more powerful and more resilient identity which values what has already happened in life and opens to exciting ways about what could happen in life in the future.
